Bridges

So it has been a month since i had my ordeal with that "friend" of mine. I hate that I typed it that why but that's how I still feel about this person. We've talked a few times since then but I can't stand to listen to the sound of his voice. I just get irritated and want to hang up but I don't want to sound like an asshole. As I've said before I still care? for this person but I still need more time. I wouldn't say I've burned or want to burn this bridge I have with him but I would say that I wouldn't want to walk on the bridge for dear life. I just don't want to break it. I even wonder if what I type makes any sense. Even with my not wanting to talk to him, I've already thought of the perfect xmas gift to give him. It's nothing expensive, but when I saw it I thought about how much he would enjoy it. So, there I'm recovering. A while back he called to ask if I wanted to bake cookies with him and even though I REALLy wanted to make the cookies I didn't want to make them with him. Luckily I had work that day so I said I could make it but when they day came I told him my work called me. An evil queen I am. Ok, recovery takes time... In talking about my rickety bridges I've been rebuilding one with an old friend from High School. Like before I have talked about this person as well on the blog for almost the same reason as the one I was talking about before. Just with out the messing around part. Well anyways he now goes to my community college and we've run into each other and just goofed around. I call him on Thursdays when I get on campus and talk and walk around before I go to class. It's just really nice to talk to somebody again. When I mean talk I mean talk about gay stuff. He's the only guy who I talk about men with, besides my internet friend (whom I miss :'() I've never felt comfortable about talking to my other friends about guys, it feels weird. To my straight friends I like them to think I'm asexual, which I'm fine with. I don't feel comfortable talking about any kind of sex unless I'm trying to make a funny. Last week I get a call on friday from him and he asks if I want to go on a Disney trip with him. Like he needed to ask me if I wanted to go to Disney... That's as closest to an automatic yes you will ever get from me. I'm always passive about EVERYTHING but when it comes to Disney trips I'm always going to say yes. Later that day I'm hanging out with another friend and he asks if I want to go with him to Halloween Horror Night @ Universal. I tell him I'm going with the other friend and he blurts out if I still like the guy. Like the drop of the hat I tell him no but to tell you the truth I'm still attractive to him. When I first saw him at college I got butterflies but it's gone away now. When we walk around college our hand will sometimes bump into each other and I draw my hands into my pockets. He's cute looking and really sweet but this is the short of thing that's never goes on from that and I'm used to it. I think it would be awesome if something did happen with us but it's just never going to happen and I'm ok with that. So, that's what been on my mind for while. I still have some stuff I want to post here. I'm doing pretty good in my Typography class so I'm going to try and post some of the pics on here to show you all. Let's see if I can keep my promise this semester! XOXO MisterNoLife