A mother is a boys best friend!

A mother is a boy's best friend.

My name is of no importance to you. Please do not go looking for me. For those who try, I’m sorry. I just hope someone will miss you. I am not a bad man, I’m a working man. People have a habit of giving things names so, if you need to call me something I’ll leave that to you. Now if you’ll excuse me... I have work to do.

A lifeless vessel lays face down in a pool of itself. It’s Crimson blood spilling away from what was once standing, breathing, living only moments before. Standing back my canvas paints itself on the ice cold wooden floor, filling every crevasse, nook, cranny. Stepping back to not disrupt my work I’m greeted with squeaks from the floorboards. My work continues to spread as its smell fills my lungs. The taste of blood now eases down from my salivating mouth. My taste buds scream for more and that’s what I give them.

The blood lay stagnant. The wood left to drink my graceful gift. From my pockets I pull out two shower caps and my beloved faded Marigolds. Slipping on my gloves first I put one cap on each foot. I take my first steps onto my almost finished product, feeling like a celebrity stepping across my red carpet to thank her. A muffled blood soaked squeak accompanies me as I bend down and brush her cheek. Her ice cold flesh freezing my finger tips through my gloves. Turning her over to see into her eyes, a soulless vessel stairs back. A faint hint shows her final moments of fate terror and acceptance. Blonde locks covering what’s left from her gorgeous colorless lips. Leaning in to deliver her one last kiss, pulling back to see her rosy lips return to there petrified state. Her last words still ringing in the halls of my brain.

“Why!”

“I’m just doing my job.”



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I just finished this very short story for my Intro to Fiction Writing and wanted to share it since I've kinda been neglecting my blog posts like a prom night dumpster baby. :( I blame school!

Ahh Fiddle Sticks

Ok, there is a reason I rarely ever speak and that's because I tend to put my foot in my mouth.

When I do it, a joke may go to far OR I upset someone and have a flame war on myspace. It's come to the point were I just want to get this over with because I hate confrontation and arguing. I guess I had a loaded comment that shot all over my face, and not in a good way. As always this shit goes over my head so I expect nothing to come from it... but boy was I wrong. Two some odd days later and it's still going. I take the cowards way out and back out because it's silly and I need to focus on school.

I noticed how this person changed, after a certain incident with a certain ex-room mate of hers saying something about me. It went something along the lines of me liking her BF and the only reason I hang out with them is to get closer to him, or some stupid retarded shit like that. That is completely not true. I feel stupid talking about this because he reads this...

I really hope I'm crazy and imagining this whole thing because now when I hang out with him and she knows about it all I hear is her  complaining about me. Honestly it make me feel like shit because when we do see each other I think we are having a good time. It's come to the point where last time we hung out he said I wasn't with him. I know he did it so she doesn't give him shit, but if it HAS gone to that may I not be making this up?If I had balls I would say something to one of them, but since I don't. I'm left here to leave it on a website where anyone can see my dirty laundry.

I just hope this stupid drama gets over and done with. Right after I get over some stupid drama, here comes another. FML

Disney at New Years

I finally got my Disney Vacation! It was only one day. I ended up with blisters on my feet. My legs felt like they were about to fall off, but it was a good trip. A trip I seriously needed, but as with my life it wasn't the picture perfect trip I wanted, but it was the best trip I've ever could have had if I were with my family. This is the dramatization of Dec. 29, 2009. As someone told me on the trip "All you do is complain"
 so why not prove him right...

Before I even get to the actually trip part, there was some stuff before we even got in the car. This trip was only supposed to be with me on only one person. It sounds like a dick move but hear me out. I had four tickets that I have been saving for a year. If I only had me and another person I would still have tickets I could have used for my sisters Birthday that's in Feb. I had my whole trip planned out with this guy. We had our day from work requested off and all I needed to do was reserve the hotel. Then I had to put my fucking foot in my mouth and say I was going to Disney to another friend, in which he leached himself onto the trip. I REALLY didn't want three people to go on the trip.

Having an odd party in Disney isn't fun. Someone is ALWAYS going to be left out and I wasn't going to be the fucking third wheel on my vacation! Also this person has gone to Disney way to many times this year. I have called him/ him call me several times this year to only find out/ him tell me he was in Disney for the weekend. When I confronted him about it he just brushed it aside saying it wasn't true. The fucked up thing was when I brought it up DURING the trip he was like Yeah so what! I could have used those damn tickets for my family in Feb, but since I don't like to be an asshole I let him come. Then I had to go find a forth person. Poof 4 tickets gone!


I hate that I need to say this on my own blog but here I go. This is a site I've been writing for about two years now. Some people who may know me in real life are probably in this blog. Good or bad they make it here one way or another. Just because you know this blog exists doesn't mean you're not going to be mentioned in a good or bad way. If you find something here that's going to hurt your feelings, I don't care because this is my way of venting. Shit gets posted then I put it behind me, no more thinking about it. I may not ever tell you that but that's who I am. If you don't like it, here's a Torch and there's the bridge. Have at it.

Back to my trip. The drive to Orlando was my favorite part about the trip. There was no arguing, no stupid tiffs just some good old fashioned bullshitting. I plugged in my Zune, and we listened to music the whole time. Talked about random crap. It was perfect. Actually the whole trip was pretty awesome. Even though there were points where it stunk, the crappyness would end in something positive.

After we got out of the park, we walked towards to a tram that would pick us up and drive us to the entrance to the park. We had to wait three times to get on the damn tram. The first time it was fine because a small group was in front of us and when we tried to get on we all didn't fit. The second time we tried was when it got ridiculous. Some stupid bitch threw her kid in front of us so her family could get on the tram. She literally THREW her kid in front of us! I'm not over exaggerating.

The next little hiccup came when the group wanted to eat "breakfast". They don't like breakfast food so I bring them to the hotdog shop near Main Street USA.  All I hear from one person is how much the food cost. SERIOUSLY! You live in Florida, you're not a stupid tourist ( sorry tourists ) but you know full well all food in theme parks are expensive. I'm guessing this person was cranky because he hadn't eaten, which is understandable but that really got me in a funk. We've only been in the park for half an hour and there was complaining already. I suggest he gets the corn dog nuggets and bitching continues as he orders his nuggets. After the damn order he says how much he liked them... But I don't get the credit for suggesting it to him. My manager gets it for telling me about them. Whatever no big deal.

When we were eating our food they had one of the shows in front of Cinderella Castle going on. I told one of my friends, the one that hasn't been to Disney since he was 6ish,  the show had the characters actually moved their mouths when they talk. He gave the biggest gasp. He made us relocate from where we were to get a better view of the show. He was mesmerized by the whole thing. When fireworks shot out of the stage there was another squeal of excitement. It was pretty funny to see him watch the show. It was like seeing a child believing everything he was seeing. And that's why I love Disney!

Heres a clip from the show. Watch for Donald so you can see his mouth move.

Soon we rode the new refurbished Space Mountain, WHICH WAS AWESOME! In the line they added multiplayer games that makes the wait feel like nothing. When I get off of Space Mountain I look for the Disney DDr game they have in the arcade next to the ride. SAdly they don't have it in the arcade anymore. :( I was so disappointed. I was going to ask a Castmember what happened to it but they probably had no idea what I would be talking about.

Then we jumped ship into Adventure Land and grabbed some Fast Pass tickets for Jungle Cruise and got in the line for Pirates of the Caribbean. The problem with lines is that people tend to go single file line when they get into one. In WDW depending on the ride, Castmembers will tell Guests to fill in ALL the empty space because it speeds up the line. And NO ONE ever listens, so my group would just fill in the space. Someone would say it's cutting but we were just being told what to do. I'm not going to wait in a line any longer then I need to be because people won't fill in the line.  What I do find as cutting when when a Castmember forgets to rope off a passage way and some certain people in a certain group try to use it to actually cut people in the line. We were deep enough into the line were  people had gotten there shit together and were packed like sardines. When I try to tell these people that they were trying to cut, they called me a hypocrite because we "cut all those people when we were "filling" in the line." (If I'm in the wrong Please let me know! Because I think filling in hole is fine.) Also when you're in the back of the line of your group you're going to follow them. If I decided to stay they would have just left me, or bitched about me not wanting to fill in the gap. How do I win. Something funny that did happen in the line was when someone made a joke to another about him showing himself to the line so they would move away and we could get on the ride faster. Some prissy lady decided to tell us off and say we had to wait in line like everybody else. Come on lady get your finger out of your ass, it was a joke. Please...

Another one of my favorite parts of the trip was when we actually got onto the Jungle Cruise. The ride doesn't take it self seriusly at all, which is what makes it beautiful. It's campy and depending on your skipper you'll have a great time or a bad one. We had a female skipper and her timing was perfect. I was laughing the whole time. When we got off the ride however, I had to hear for about  half an hour on how hot she was, and that when she got off the clock they were going to find her... Smelled like a good ol' fashioned date rape in the making. I don't know who was joking or if they were serious but it  got kinda annoying after a while. Then they of course had to ask my opinion of her. I couldn't deny she was pretty but come on I didn't go on this vacation to talk about vagina.

That was something that kinda got to me. I am one to take A LOT and I mean A LOT of gay jokes, mostly because I start them but when someone takes advantage of that I'm kinda left out of the joke and get laughed at instead of be apart of the joke. When we were in Phantasy Land, they had a show were they thought you how to do the Ho Down Throw Down, by Hannah Montana. There was a little boy dancing and a friend commented "There's another queer in the making!"... Why did he have to bring this random kid into a hurtful comment. I had to say something right. What was I to say? All I could do was say he was already gay or something like that. I felt dirty saying it. I was trying to defend this poor kid. And the friends response to mine was "Well he doesn't know it yet." This person has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth that makes him sound very dumb. I'm not saying I'm perfect but there are sometimes where you need to keep your mouth shut.

(More After the Jump!)

Alan Alert!

On November 26 I was transported back into my childhood as I wondered the Mall looking for my parents. A 19 year old lost like a sad little boy looking for his parents. Where was my phone you ask? I left it :(. I had to wake up at 5AM for black Friday and when I got picked up. My parents decide they needed to go to the other Mall and walk around... I didn't get home till about 10:10PM. When I complained to my mom she just brushed it off like it was no big deal. BTICH!

To be honest I wasn't that bumbed out that I went to the other Mall I was pissed because they left me in the Apple store. You know, that store that's all white and you since I was wearing a green hoodie I just blended into the store and they couldn't find me. If they didn't have a iPhone there to test out I would have been stuck . The funny thing about this, is that this has happened to me before and it couldn't have been gayer.

So, I'm about 13-14 when my mom, sister and I go to the Mall to wander around or what my mom likes to call Window Shopping. I could never get the point of that, you just make yourself feel bad because you can't buy anything. So, anyway we walk into a the book store and end up in front of the children's books. Since that was the middle of the Harry Potter craze I asked if I could get a Harry Potter book and she said no, so I asked if I could just wonder around this part of the store. The Kids area just so happened to be near the CD's so I tell my mother as she's walking away with my sister "I'm at the CD's!"

As I walk towards the CD's I see an album that tickles my fancy, Music by Madonna OF COURSE! I'm listening to the CD and I start to lose track of time and I like to listen to my music on full blast so you see where this is going. I start to notice a weird buzzing sound every few minutes and eventually I get annoyed by it. I take off the headphones to hear what the noise was.

I don't remember what it said word for word but it went a little something like this. "Alan Valcarcel please come to customer service, your mother is looking for you" As I walk up to the front desk I see that the whole store is looking at me. As I turn the corner I see my mom with tears in her eyes like as if someone died. When she looked at me she became one of those crazy hispanic ladies you see on TV crying there eyes out and talking about Jesus and God or something while running up to me. When I told her I was literally ive steps away from the Harry Potter book she said I was lying or soemthing, my memory gets foggy there. Then she has the balls to ground me. FML

If not to put the icing on the cake! When I was at the Apple store trying out there amazing headphone, guess what I was listening to... Come on guess. Learn what it was after the Jump.

Just a note...

I've had this blog for a little longer then a year. I've talked about it a few times around friends, but today someone finally asked me the URL. I'd like to welcome that person. Welcome, to Misternolife. Comment on the post or whatever.

I just wanna dance with somebody.

Today is Halloween and as the big geek I am, I spent it at the comic book store. There I met Michael Jackson, the Mario Brothers, the Venture Brothers, Indiana Jones and someone from Star Trek (I've only seen the J.J. Abrams movie, give me a break). I myself was a Mouseketeer, but my costume wasn't complete. My M.A.C. make-up was at my friends apartment and she wouldn't respond to the message I sent her, so I couldn't be a dead Mouseketeer as I had planed.

But this is only half the reason I'm posting this. When I got home, I noticed my little sisters Hannah Montana wig sitting on the counter... You know were this is going. I fit it on my head and it was to small. It was like I scalped a little person and put it on my head. It sucked, but I left it on and walked around the house and spoke with a hill billy accent for about an hour. I would like to reiterate how bored I was. Then I got an idea, a crazy idea that if I got caught I would have lots of esplaining to do. I grabbed my mothers make-up, which I would like to say is very slim and threw something together. I've been watching Petriludes videos on youtube so, I had a little help but still... Anyway, I brought my computer into the bathroom with me and opened Photobooth. I even dragged my table lamp with me because I had no light in the bathroom, stupid florescent lights! I plugged my Zune into some speakers and played the song that's been stuck in my head for the past week or so. "I just want to Dance with Somebody" by the tragically fabulous Whitney Houston!

I took the Hannah wig off because it looked weird on me on camera and hit [REC.] If you want to see the train wreck... here you are.

Belly of the Beast

People have there little quirks that make them who they are. Some like to text frequently, while others always have to have done something in order to call it a day. I myself have one of these quirks and thats visiting my comic book store. I always have to make a trip to my local comic shop or else it feels like a piece of me is missing. It’s not just to pick up the comics I subscribe to. It’s for that special little feeling you get when you know you’re home. It’s not just a comic shop to me, it’s my sanctuary. I open the door of the store to find myself immersed inside the belly of the nerdiest beast of all humanity. To the left of the store you’ll find yourself The Wall. Every Wednesday it gets filled with all the new comics that come out that week. Each shelve is filled with books that can occupy any person, to the point of exhaustion. DC, Marvel, Vertigo, Image comics, they have them all! Comics immerse you into world that people have been reading for over 70 years. As you flip through each glossy page you are greeted with the beautiful art from panel to panel. The stories of Captain America fighting the devious Red Skull with his iconic red, white and blue shield unfold in front of your eyes each turn of the page. Need to catch up on your Comic history? If you want to be in the loop then you have to dive into the vast collection of back issues, that stretch to the other side of the store. Each box waiting to be look through, like a puppy in a pet store. You must be careful when searching through these boxes because you never know if what you pull will be a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow or fools gold. Spiderman, Batman, Charles Xavier and all his X-Men are all my friends and I won’t have it any other way. When Emma Frost uses her womanhood to seduce Namor, cheating on poor Cyclops. You feel it! They may be super heroes but they have to deal with the same mundane things like cheaters, to the seriousness of prejudice, and hate crimes. When Captain America died at the end of Civil War, no one could see it coming, at least they couldn’t know how it was going to happen. People may have texting but I have my comics and I’m perfectly fine with that. When I’m at the comic book store I’m where I want to be. Immersed into the word of comics I become the Pagemaster choosing what I read and what I don’t. Picking my own adventure for me and the Avengers to go on. With comics there are endless possibilities, millions of books for me to choose. I’ll never grow tired. My mother likes to remind me that I’ll never grow up, and I’m fine with that in every single way.